Nakey Time Houdini

There is a sizeable amount of nudity in our house. Before you get ahead of yourself, it’s definitely not me. And (unfortunately, wink wink) not my husband. It’s my 19-month old. She just can’t seem to keep her clothes on.

Clothes have never really been Z’s thing. “Nakey Time” was a more frequent occurrence than “Tummy Time” in our house. Every time she cried, our checklist was:

1. Is she hungry?
2. Is she tired?
3. Did you try taking her clothes off?

We’ve never needed a step 4.  

Just lay the naked baby on a puppy pad (for the pee, obvi), crank the heat, and she was happy. Zary was seriously behind the curve on mobility so this strategy continued to work for most of her first year. Around 12 months when she did finally walk, we just spent all day outside and she was very content and very naked peeing aimlessly all over the backyard. (Sorry, neighbors.)

Winter, though. Things have gotten interesting in winter.

First, she figured out socks. And that’s fine. Harmless. I’ll just turn up the heat if she’s cold.

Second, a few weeks later, were the pants. No problem, I’ll just put her in zip-up jammies and one-pieces and then there are no pants to be dropped. Problem solved.

Third, well now things get spicy because she figured out zippers. Which means jackets, pajamas, sleep sacks, ALL OF IT came off. This was Zary’s delay tactic of choice for the bulk of the last month. I redressed that baby for bed so many times every night we actually considered just letting her sleep in her diaper.

Yeah, you read that right. Her diaper was still on. As smart as this kid is, she never figured out how to take off her diaper. Until recently. And MAN that girl can take it off fast.  First time she tried, she whipped it off, happy squealed, and pooped on the carpet.

Ok, that was a surprise. Didn’t anticipate that. Probably should have. Chalk it up to first-time-mom ineptitude. Last week, I ordered all of her summer clothes – a wardrobe of exclusively body suits with the crotch snaps. The most baby-proof clothing item on the market. No way she’s getting down to her diaper in these baby straight jackets.

Tonight, I watched as Z studied the snaps on her bodysuit for a few minutes… and then started yanking. I think I have 24 more hours before she gets this off too. Determined little nudist.

On a very related note, any recs for carpet cleaning solutions? I should probably stock up.